30 The meaning of a dream

When Linah came down, at around four o’clock in the morning, her cheeks were rosy, her hands were shaking a bit.

“She’s gone.”

Her words made me stop playing right away. I stood up, bewildered.

“Anastasia is gone?”

“She teleported. She said she had nothing to do here anymore. It seems like she can control her Wanderer Curse a bit. Oh, I told her you wanted to apologize. She said she won’t get offended for so little. She also said: ‘that youngster has already changed his future’. What did she mean?”

“… No idea.”

I knew Anastasia was talking about that question she had asked me the day before, about changing my future. But how on earth would I have changed my future in a day? I widened my eyes. That Immortal Witch hadn’t done anything to me, had she? I would have known if she had cursed me, right? Right?

And there I was thinking ill of the old witch again! I hit my cheeks with both fists. It didn’t hurt at all.

Linah and Kim looked at me, surprised.

“What are you doing, Straw Head?”

“Putting my thoughts straight.”

“Really? And it works? I can do it for you next time if you want.”

“No, thanks.”

“Hwara-hwara! Well, we can go back now, Straw Head.”

I nodded, thanked Kimberley for his edifying lessons, and we soon headed back. I asked Linah about her conversation with the Immortal Witch, but she was lost in thought and didn’t seem to hear me.

She kept silent all the way back to the beach. I was wondering what she was thinking, when she said:

“Straw Head. Thank you for accompanying me. I may have never met her if it weren’t for you.”

“I’m glad you did. It really seems that you enjoyed her conversation.”

“I… did.” The crescent moon barely lit her face, but her voice betrayed her joy. “I learned very important things about the witches.”

“Is that so? Are you going to become one? That would be cool.”

“… You think?”

“Yeah. Though I don’t really know what witches do. Something like making amulets with blessings and curses, right?”

She chortled.

“It’s not only that! The arts of the witches are really difficult to learn. You can’t learn them just by sitting on a chair and reading books. But that’s also why I’m so thrilled right now. Yeah. I think I’m gonna do it, Straw Head! I’m going to become a witch.”

She said it earnestly. I was a bit surprised, but I was glad she had found a dream that could make her even happier.

“Dreams are one of the most sacred things on earth,” I said. “That’s what my grandma used to say.”

“… Funny. My grandma said something very similar to that.”

“Really?! Wow. Grandmas are incredible, aren’t they?”

“… Mm,” she nodded.

I grinned under my mask. Kim was right: I sure was learning life through her.

We were walking past the water station when I felt her lifeforce against my skin. My core trembled. Did she just take my hand? I fought my life-lust with no problem: I had more trouble fighting the desire to squeeze her hand in return but…

“It’s dark.”

As far as I knew, she had never been afraid of the dark. I swallowed.

“Yeah. It’s because it’s night.”

Wait, isn’t that obvious, you stupid Straw Head? I hurt mentally at my own words. Why was I so nervous, all of a sudden? Lost in thought, Linah didn’t seem to notice. Maybe she was afraid of the dark? My eyes caught glimpse of two fireflies slowly twirling around a bush, and I was going to point at them when Linah broke the silence:

“Straw Head. What is a dream? I mean… I had decided long ago that I would never become a witch just because my grandmother, my aunts, and my cousins are witches. I don’t want to copy their dreams. I hate following the steps of others. Yet… what if it is my own dream? What if it isn’t? What if it’s just a whim? How can I know?”

Her voice was low yet troubled. I didn’t know she had been struggling with such deep interrogations.

A dream. Did I even know what a dream was? Well, there had been a time when I had been dead set on becoming one of the best violinists on the planet, but…

Could I give her a proper answer? It was rare for Linah to ask for advice, and to think she was asking me, of all people… I squeezed her hand just a little and strangely relaxed as I said:

“Whatever your dream is, you won’t find it if you don’t try. I mean, trying is what’s important. Whether you become a witch or change your mind along the way… it doesn’t really matter, does it? Either way, it’s your decision. Decisions and strife make the man. Or the woman. The human. Well, I guess it must apply to other species, too… Anyway, it wasn’t my grandma who told me that, I don’t remember who did, but it feels based. I don’t know much about dreams but… I do know that pursuing a dream is one of the coolest things there are in life, as long as you try hard with all you’ve got in here.” I patted my chest, only to remember my heart was not beating anymore. I chuckled nervously. “Anyway, to me, you are already a witch, Linah. My Lil Witch.”

“…” She let go of my hand and rest it on her own chest, thoughtful. “One of the coolest things… Then doing it half-heartedly would sure be a crying shame. Okay,” she said as if making a final decision. “Thanks, Armen. I’ll give it my all!”

She didn’t react to the ‘my Lil Witch’ part, huh… Whatever. Seeing that my awkward words could be of help was enough. I smiled, nodding.

“Mm. If you become a real witch, don’t forget to give me your first amulet.”

“Leave it to me, Straw Head! But even though Anastasia gave me some pointers… it takes years to become a full-fledged witch.”

“No worries. I’m patient. I’ll wait. Even after my death.”

There was a silence.

“No, no, if you die, I’ll bury you, Straw Head.”

“Will you?”

“Yeah. Because your corpse would stink.”

It doesn’t, though. You’re the one tasting bad. I chuckled.

“I prefer being with you than rotting in a grave.”

“Then don’t die, birdbrain-dummy-fool!”

“O-Okay!”

We reached the beach in front of the Phoenix Turtle’s Neck. Few lights could be seen in the Academy. In contrast, the Neck’s waters were gleaming warmly like a swarm of orange fireflies. Was there a source of light down there? It hadn’t been there on the night before. How curious.

“Beautiful,” Linah let out, impressed.

That it was. It seemed as if the waters had turned into a starry ripply sky.

“Oh, I wanted to ask you, Straw Head. What’s the deal with Ray? He looked overly worried when we said we were going out tonight. You don’t think he will tattle to his mother, do you?”

“…! Ray? Tattle?” I snorted with laughter. “No, he won’t. I guess he was just worried we could be caught by the instructors.” Among other things… “We’re a bit crazy, you know, breaking the rules just like that.”

“Stupid rules are made to be broken, aren’t they?”

“Well, if you put it like that—”

“Did we do anything wrong?”

“Certainly not.”

“Besides, since when does a Cheetah care about official rules? Cheetahs are proud creatures born to be free.”

“You’re so damn right. As expected of my muse.”

“Hwara-hwara! Your friend is such a worrywart!” Linah said, guffawing.

“… Ray’s mom will hear you from the Academy.”

She snorted and crouched on the sand, punching it.

“That witch! I mean, that harpy! To think that she wanted to stop me from meeting with the Wandering Immortal Witch! She almost crushed my dream! What if I really became a Peacemaker because of her?”

I tilted my head, confused.

“But didn’t you want to become a Peacemaker?”

“…” In the moonlight, she seemed to shrink as she shook her head. “It’s just my parents’ wish. My mom basically set her witch life aside when she married my dad, and she never really ‘graduated’ from witch apprenticeship.”

“You mean, she doesn’t want you to become a witch?”

“She doesn’t say it out loud, but it’s clear to me that she’d rather have me enter the WHO than become an outcast. Witches are not very welcome inside the WHO. I told you, didn’t I? That they have a bad reputation.”

“You… did.” I frowned, lost in thought. Logically, undeads weren’t the only ones being rejected by public opinion. Witches didn’t have it easy, either. I felt a surge of solidarity for Linah. My eyes squinted at her face. “But you still want to become a witch, don’t you?”

For a moment, only the regular ripple of waves caressing the sand could be heard. Then:

“I do. I really do.”

I grinned under my mask.

“Then, I’ll root for you, Lil Witch.”

“Th-Thanks! I’ll root for you, too. I’m sure you’ll become a great Rescuer.”

“…? Ah, sorry, didn’t I tell you? I don’t want to become a Hero either.”

“…! Whaaaat?! Then what are you doing here?”

Right back at you… I shrugged.

“Ray came because of his mom. I’m just tagging along.”

There was a silence. On the beach enshrouded in darkness, I heard Linah let out a grumble.

“He bought you from that CI’s student, Noah, didn’t he? Ray…”

“Ah, yeah, he did.”

“Mm. Doesn’t it bother you? That he bought a friend.”

“Why would it bother me? Heh. It’s not like he bought our friendship.”

“So you’re telling me you would be okay if I bought your badge?”

“…!!” Her question overwhelmed me.

“Yeah, it would be disgusting, right? Instead of fighting for the badge, fair and square. Ray Styxer’s way of solving things reminds me too much of my father’s. But you can’t protect your friends for long with just money. He should just go to college and keep studying maths and literature. Why bother entering the WHO—”

“Don’t slander my best friend, Linah.”

She fell silent, surprised at my severe rebuke. Despite my annoyance, my core was pounding. I had called her Linah! She stood up, protesting:

“Sorry, Ray seems like a nice guy, I don’t doubt it. I was just saying… the way he is now, he’s not even mentally prepared for this training. He has no charisma, no manipulation skills, and he can’t fight. Not even against an Indie trainee.”

“Noah is not just ‘an Indie trainee’,” I protested. “He’s a real monster. You might not win against him.”

“You serious?”

“Yeah. Anyway, you underestimate Ray. He has never been interested in showing off his skills during this training in the first place.”

“… Oh. Do you mean he’s hiding his strengths?”

I grimaced.

“Er… Yeah. Something like that.” He was hiding them so well that he still wasn’t able to control his power… I let out in a hurry: “Anyway, he’s a precious friend. I’d say he’s like a pillar in my life. Like the atmosphere.”

“…?! Hwara-hwara! The atmosphere? Ray? Are you trying to be a poet now?”

I had tried to put my feelings into words, but I couldn’t do better than that. What a lame comparison. Maybe with my violin, yeah, maybe with my violin I would be able to express them more accurately…

“Must be nice to be able to trust someone to that extent.”

Surprised, I turned my head to Linah. Was she jealous? I chuckled.

“What does that mean? All you have to do is trust me that way, too.”

“And think you’re like the atmosphere? Hwara-hwara… I’m not like that, Straw Head… I’m not as passionate as you are. Besides,” —The moonlight reflected on Linah’s eyes as she raised them— “they say female cheetahs are solitary souls.”

Her words went right to my core. Right. Erma had always been rather independent. Despite the appearances. She was level-headed and cautious with relationships. Despite the appearances. I turned to the moon saying:

“How do you know that’s true? Have you already seen a real cheetah?”

“No. But I’ve read about them on an encyclopedia.”

“Hoho? You, too, you read encyclopedias?”

“Of course I do.”

“Didn’t your big bro said that encyclopedias were as tricky as mind-opening?”

“Moron. He was talking about history not encyclopedias. At least remember it well.”

My argument fell through. Dammit. I was considering to tell her all genuinely that, just as Ray wasn’t the atmosphere, she wasn’t an actual cheetah, when I saw a light on the beach of Yuutow Island on the other side of the Neck, and my words died in my throat.

“Crap. Erma… Can you see what I see?”

Linah turned to the Academy and let out a “Aw”.

I had that feeling.

That the Lightning Veil was waiting for us on the other side.